The most offensive...

Step one: Get gaffa tape, cut a 3 inch strip off the roll
Step two: Cover your mouth with tape
Step three: Read this.

If you weren't pissed off enough to understand why step one & two were necessary, just stop reading right now. For everyone else, please - continue, and share your values based outrage. I'll let Kipper begin;

kipper : for every chaplain, there should be a mullah. Why is there no mullah!

kipper : There should be none of this values shit at all

rantolotl : For every chaplain, there should be an elaborate trap...

kipper : On the one hand the religious right whinge about how sex education should be the domain of parents and not schools because it's about "morals"- and now they're whinging about "morals" not being taught in school. So chaplains, these *male*, bigotted kiddy-fiddlers instead of trained guidance counsellors.

kipper : They whinge that "politics should be kept out of school" when kids are shown stories about gay parents, and then turn around and want to force their marriage and family bullshit on kids instead.

kipper : The very same fucking politicians!!

kipper : Has anyone pointed this out??

And as Kipper continued to later, two of these fuckers are the same who tried to introduce that anti-headscarf legislation - you know, the one that would make it illegal for muslim kids to wear headscarves in school. I guess the jewish community missed out on that one. So - just to summarise, religion & religious symbols in schools is fine. Providing you're christian. Wear a headscarf? Get ready to be labelled 'extremist' & 'terrorist'. Jewish? Wear a skullcap? Well, best lay low for awhile - hopefully no one will point out this particular double standard while you're still in school. Anyhow - our government supports Israel's particular brand of terrorism, so your tenuous national/religious link is probably okay for awhile yet. Just be prepared to eat Christian-crusade pork on all national holidays - such as Australia Day, Anzac Day, Cup Day Rememberance Day, and fuck it, Christmas too.

What?!

You don't celebrate Christmas?!!

Even if you did, you wouldn't partake of the crackling?!

Motherfuckers! And to think we've been supporting you all this time! That's it - I'm telling Cronulla on you. No beach access for you, Jewish terrorist scum! You're just as bad as those fucking tee-totaller Muslims!

But maybe it's time Australia re-modifies the citizenship test in line with its newly found 'values'. It's simple - none of these stupid questions about the Queen & Donald Bradman, nope, forget this shit about Simpson & his donkey. We've arsed about enough already, and our values based system is pretty clear - I mean, Howard's pioneering it all really, migrants in boats should be shot at, gay civil unions should be banned, blah blah blah UnAustralian. Let's just be straightforward about it all - when an citizenship applicant goes for their interview, just slap a leg of pork down on the table. If they eat it, they're in. If they don't, they're either a pinko commie vegetarian, or just another heathen. Either way, we don't want their type around here. I mean, they'll infiltrate our schools and bring all these new ideas, straight from the devils mouth, then they'll eat their fancy foreign food, and then - oh christ - then, they'll wear hats! Unchristian ones! Fuck! Let one in, and next thing you know, all us righteous christians, we'll be strung up on our own christmas trees! Discrimination! Discrimination!

If kids want religious bolstering while they go to school, then go to one of the many places of worship in the neighbourhood. I don't recall ever living in a suburb that didn't have at least three churches, for fucks sake. If anything, there's probably a proportionate disadvantage to Muslim & Jewish kids in the way of Mosques & Synagogues. But really - values do not equal religiously imposed morals. For the government to suggest they do is a total fucking farce, designed only to further isolate minority communities and their values & their rights. Kids surely have the right to learn in a secular environment that allows them to develop their minds & their intelligence, not their indoctrination. I mean really, I've read my partners students' essays, and they're stupid enough already. A 'values based' package that tells them who & what is right and wrong from a christian perspective is not going to make them any smarter - it will only make them more ignorant. They need to grapple with these questions themselves and make their own decisions, with their own, personal, support networks.

It's a poor time to be a Muslim in Australia. The political climate sucks, everyone is second guessing why you're buying a bag of garden fertilizer, and you're expected to prove yourself as an 'Aussie' at every fucking interchange. This ridiculous policy is yet another kick in the guts to civil liberties everywhere. Really, wouldn't these Liberals & fundy Christians all be a lot happier if they went and moved to Canberra together? I mean, no one else wants to live there, and surely they'd be happier all being good god-fearing christians together in their little enclave where none of us nasty heathens can get in.

And on another note, does anyone know where I could acquire some lions?


The Rantolotl.

Text of originally referenced article:
State - Schools Chaplain Push

Jason Koutsoukis, Political Correspondent, Canberra

June 11, 2006

FULL-TIME chaplains would be installed in government schools to lift religious standards and provide mentoring for students under a plan backed by the federal Education Minister.

Four prominent Liberal MPs are behind the proposal, seen by the Prime Minister and to be discussed in a meeting of Coalition MPs on Tuesday.

Education Minister Julie Bishop strongly supports the idea, but the Victorian Education Union has described it as "sickening".

Ms Bishop said parents were "looking for choice in the education and values taught to their children".

"This proposal is consistent with the national framework for values education in the Australian schools program currently being implemented across the country and while some states do have chaplaincy programs in place, it is definitely worth considering a national approach," Ms Bishop said.

But Australian Education Union Victorian president Mary Bluett said values were not the sole province of religions.

"This goes to the very heart of our secular education system," Ms Bluett said. "It's also another backhanded swipe at the teaching profession in government schools as if we somehow don't have values."

Others supporters are Victorian Greg Hunt, the parliamentary secretary for environment and heritage, Queenslander Andrew Laming, South Australia's David Fawcett and NSW's Louise Markus.

Mr Hunt slammed state school systems for being "anti-religious" and said it was time the Commonwealth intervened to give government-educated children a chance.

Under the plan, the Commonwealth would match funds raised by any government school that voluntarily raised money for a chaplaincy program.

Mr Hunt said the issue of the separation of church and state would be avoided because it would apply only to those schools that applied for the funding and would be voluntary for those students who wanted to consult a chaplain.

Mr Hunt said a full-time chaplain would cost schools about $70,000 a year to provide.

"So if a school could raise $35,000 then the Commonwealth would match that with another $35,000," he said.

Mr Hunt said there was a gaping hole in the religious education needs of government school students that parents wanted the government to fill. "There is a clear need in our schools for the mentoring and personal development, counselling and crisis management, the opportunity for values-based guidance and religious education that a chaplain could provide."

The four Liberal MPs are proposing a pilot chaplaincy program in their electorates before taking the program national.

Federal Independent Education Union of Australia president Lynne Rolley said she was "sick of hearing this Government imply that government schools are some kind of wasteland without values. It's nonsense."

The Federal Opposition's education spokeswoman, Jenny Macklin, was unavailable for comment.