Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh

That's the collective sound currently being emitted from the United States of Fuckwittery.

You see, they've been duped. By Borat. And now they're having a big fuck-off cry. Frankly, I think this is a bizarre development in the country that fucking invented candid camera and a whole raft of similar spin off shows. I think the real reason they're pissed is because Cohen - a brit, of all people! - did it better than they ever managed. Cockheads.

You see, they all thought it was funny when the Kazakhstan government were getting their knickers in a twist about it, but now that they've actually seen the film, and worked out what fucking jerks they are in their own right, well, they need to find someone to blame, don't they. God fucking knows they couldn't possibly be responsible for their own fucking words. 'But I was drunk!' some young men proclaim, in defence of their comments captured on film, referred to in news articles as "... appeared drunk as they made insulting comments about women and minorities to Cohen's character." Wow. You were drunk. I've been drunk too. But when I'm drunk, I just try and steal peoples drinks... I don't become a racist, sexist, or even homophobic wanker. I don't slag off minority groups - except for those damned separatist lesbians... don't even get me started on them - in fact, I manage to carry myself in much the same way I do when sober... just louder and spazzier.

Alcohol does not turn people into bigots. Bigots are just louder when drunk. These boys were no stranger to getting drunk, it would seem. Stupid bigots will drink in front of a camera, and they will say stupid things. They should be suing their parents for being so fucking stupid as to having conceived them in the first place.

But it's not just these tools that are having a cry about it all... noooooo. Our ever so reputable Australian media is having a red hot go too. Why? Because Borat is repetitive in press conferences! Oh really! It's almost like he's not a real person... like he's some sort of scripted character... like an... actor, or something! Oh wait... he IS a character!

Christ. So far, I've seen at least five Aussie media articles criticising Baron Cohen for:

• Being repetitive in character across several live press conferences
• Not being 'chatty' while out in public, when not in character
• For being unsociable, when not in character and in his own time
• For attending social events, but not being social enough
  
• That during filming, he didn't tell 'unwitting co-stars' that he was really just joking before filming
• That during filming, he did tell 'prearranged conspirators' what he was doing, and how to act accordingly
• That he kills kittens.

Christ. They could at least be fucking consistent. I mean, they're interviewing what amounts to a fictional character... and having a big cry about it. Methinks they're just upset because Cohen doesn't particularly want to talk to them... and who the fuck could blame him? I mean, he's seen home and away, he's probably seen Today Tonight... with such notable highs of Australian TV as those two examples, it's hardly surprising he'd be intimidated as all fuck. I mean, really, who could possibly conceive of competing with the likes of 'Dodgy tradesperson number 42'?

I'm seeing the film tomorrow night, and I'm looking forward to it. I have no doubt this character has pissed a lot of people off, and made people look awkward on camera, but for fucks sake - the real joke in this film is Borat himself... a supposed tv journalist from Kazakhstan, who's an anti-semitic bigot. The character has been around for since 1994 on the Ali G show, and really is nothing new. But really, I do hear what you're saying, and it sounds like Waaaaaaaahhhhhhh. Get a life and harden the fuck up, sunshine.

And now I shall leave you with this deleted scene. I heard they were going to put it in the film, but the puppy threatened to sue.



(or click here if the youtube doesn't show up for you)