Monday, February 05, 2007

Happy Birthday, Rantolotl

So, kinda by accident, today I discovered that Rantolotl's first birthday has been and gone. Coincidently, the anniversary of the blogs first rant fell on the very day I was due for an update, but decided not to because I was being fucking lazy. And you know, there's been signs all weekend that I'd missed something... something festive. Yesterday at the gym for instance, in the group class room next to where VG and I were working out, twenty odd patrons of the bizarre class that seems to involve lycra shorts, bad music, barbells, and unusually dark tans combined with unusually bright teeth took up their places... and every last one of them was wearing a fucking party hat. Their presumed captain, standing up the front of the room - barbell securely in place - grinned inanely. I turned away before she caught my eye, scared I would turn to stone. But we never did work out why they were wearing party hats. Now, of course, it's clear they were celebrating one whole year of Rantolotl!

I still can't believe the penny didn't drop when I caught the train on Friday. I mean, it was pretty damned clear that Connex had actually halted its entire Melbourne train services, causing general chaos and mayhem, just to honour this momentous occassion! Top blokes, are Connex. Top blokes. I can almost forgive them now for the monthly performance poster they placed at my station today for December... the one where they declared that they were within their monthly performace threshold, so no compensation would be paid.

Normal ranting will commence shortly. Well, after I get my gifts. The magic date for next year is February 2nd, but for now, you can all send me belated celebratory cards, preferably with cash inside. Maybe one of you can organise a party to celebrate. Oh! And make a cake... you can shape it like a duck or something. It could be Batman themed, and we'd have fairy bread, pin the tail on the donkey & methamphetamines. It'll be a fucking blast.

Get busy, you cunts.


3 comments:

CJ said...

ngry pants man should have a bigger balloon - befitting his enormity and importance...

Fandango Jones said...

The small balloon is the key comedic prop in this scene.

Why do you hate comedy?!

Kipper said...

I wish I could be a top bloke. It is the moniker of human excellence.