Friday, March 03, 2006

Updates on a few posts...

Well, when I recently posted my academic discourse, I did so on the assumption that my workmates, let alone boss, wouldn't be reading it. Turns out I was wrong. Here's the email...

From: bossdude@bossdudesoffice.com
To: rantolotl@rantolotlsoffice.com
Subject: rantolotl

um.... I just read your last blog entry.... is there something you want to tell me?

Regards,
Bossdude


Ooops.

Turns out I upset a few academics, too. But that's okay, because as far as I know, none of them work where I do, and given all the shit I've copped from them over the years, they should consider themselves lucky that they didn't recieve something more solid. To the head.

So, bossdude, if you're reading this... there's nothing to worry about. It's all in satire and drawn from experiences at Hell University (where I used to work). Well, that, and the fucking annoying calls we've been getting all week. If you hear any rumours involving pools of blood, missing people, and academics, ignore them. It's nothing. Really.

By the way, Bossdude is most definately not the man pictured here.

I also managed to offend people with the word 'cunt'. I've decided to rectify this with positive discrimination, and developed a ratio system to manage this. In effect, every time I use language that could be considered obscene that has a gender reference/base, I will endeavour to hold the following ratio of 1 female based insult : 3 male based insults. For example:

If I were to say: "Amanda Vanstone"
I would then be inclined to say "John Howard! Kim Beazley! Tony Abbott!". But please, if you're trying this at home, don't repeat it to a mirror three times, because urban legend has it you'll die.

I've decided that 'asshat' is gender neutral, so you can expect to see that a whole lot more. You Trollop.


In other news...

  • The above post was a long way to travel for a single joke.
  • Bossdude really isn't the guy in that photo.
  • Dominos still won't deliver to us.
  • The surveys I placed in the toilets were gone the next day. I'm still none the wiser.
  • The tap that caused a minor flooding issue has stopped spewing red water, but has issues with dispensing warm water.
  • I still drink Hudsons coffee, and am now not at all shocked when I find salty, sugary or other miscellaneous crunchy bits in the cup.
  • I really fucking love this picture from the pants post. It's my proudest creation to date. I'm also quite fond of my diagrams in that post too.
Fin.


3 comments:

Fandango Jones said...

I know someone who would be very displeased with your posting that picture here. Two someones, infact.
This pleases me.

However, where did you get that photo?!

Also, about your ratio system... I think it needs balancing. I mean, do you really think that one mention of 'Lil Johnny' is only 1/3 a mention of Amanda 'I WILL EAT YOU' Vanstone? To me it seems like your ratings are way off.

the rantolotl said...

You're right of course, but as I said, it was a long way to go for a joke...

Fandango Jones said...

Which leaves only the mystery of the photo.

And the mystery of the Dance, I guess, but thats one of those things mankind just isn't meant to know.